Category Archives: The Nature of Introversion

The Myth of Introvert Sociopathy

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

The stereotype in real life and in Hollywood is that serial killers or those who go on shooting rampages are nearly always described as being ‘really quiet.’

I have repeatedly had people jokingly say things like ‘you’re gonna be a serial killer,’ or ‘you act like a terrorist’ simply on account of my habitual reserve in public.

This popular representation of destructive sociopathic/narcissistic personalities represents a critical misunderstanding.

An impassive mien is thought to be evidence of sociopathy, but the opposite is the case.

No sociopath would actually appear to be devoid of emotion. Such persons are calculated enough to understand that they need to emote in the right ways to get what they want.
While a Subtle person’s personality is grounded, a sociopath is a social chameleon, changing effortlessly into whatever form suits their needs.
A sociopath sees the world only in terms of superficial appearances. The meaning of any thing comes not from what it is, but what reaction it gets from others. A classic trait of a sociopathic/narcissistic personality is that they don’t perceive other humans as people so much as bundles of socially flipped triggers that set various processes into motion.
For one who is Subtle, mass society is but a tool to further the wellbeing of the individual.
For a sociopath: There is no such thing as an individual. There is only society itself.

For most people, the social ghost is invisible.
For a sociopath, only the social ghost can be seen.

Introverts are known for being socially awkward in orthodox society.
Sociopaths on the other hand possess such mastery that they operate on a technical level. Other human beings seem as contemptible simpletons to them. Successful domination and manipulation are among their greatest pleasures in life:

I recall reading about a young man named Eric Harris who got in trouble for some sort of vandalism along with his friend Dylan Klebold.
Harris wrote a clearly calculated apology letter in a syrupy and exaggerated tone. Submitting such a vehement apology when he felt no remorse at all was a game for him:
It was a way to attempt to reduce his punishment and better still, to be able to watch some dupe eat up his platitudes as if he had actually meant them.

Most readers will probably know that these two young men later became infamous for a school shooting.
It is not as well known, though, that they were not quiet, meek, and secluded. Both boys were regular fixtures in their high school’s party scene and the local Goth clique was hardly the only group they hung out with. Their rampage was not a protest but a massive attention-getting behavior.

Most sociopathic killers have been integrated respectable members of society with spouses, children, or a significant other. I would surmise that such people are more likely to possess these tokens of social success than the average individual. They know all the right steps, all the right things to say and do. They’ve become good at working the system because they enjoy it. I remember seeing articles in the news about a man who after years of wives dying under suspicious circumstances or outright disappearing was finally standing trial. Everyone knew this guy did it, all that was lacking was some more substantial evidence. Far from being an outcast, this guy seemed to have always had another girl standing in line whenever he offed the last one.

I must admit:
The Virginia Tech shooter gave me pause. He had been known as an exceedingly quiet and closed individual. I stopped and seriously asked myself as I had before: “Am I serial killer material just as so many suggest?”
“Is my notion of separation from the larger society just a manifestation of narcissism?”

Yet when I examined the situation more closely, the pattern was clear.
While not overtly Loud, the Virginia Tech shooter had repeatedly striven for attention by writing sensationalistic, angsty, gratuitously violent stories and plays. None of these efforts, apparently, succeeded in satisfactorily achieving his aims. The shooting was the ultimate attention-getting behavior. His performance even came with a playbill he distributed to all the news agencies.

If one sees the world in terms of social constructs:
Social recognition/publicity is the most precious of all things.
Then consider that one can labor long and hard through a lifetime for only a lottery ticket probability of becoming famous.
Or:
One can go out in a blaze of gory. In one day, one can gain more notoriety than in an entire lifetime.
If one barely has any notion of a concrete identity and has difficulty conceiving of others as human beings, then social recognition is more important than life itself. For one’s existence to be socially recognized then is life.
For a sociopathic personality a demise in a sudden outburst of violence is a perfectly rational thing to do.

Upon examination:
Not only is a Subtle person not the epitome of a sociopath/serial killer, but the polar opposite.

I would go as far as to say that a true introvert is an anti-sociopath.

Indeed most socially manipulative people, and especially sociopaths tailor their behavior to the highly social. As such, their crafty approach frequently seems transparent to introverts.
For one to whom small talk is white noise, there must be actual content in a conversation.
A sociopath often malfunctions when faced with such expectations. In their view there is no such thing as meaningful content in a conversation– only that which brings them closer to their aims.

Adolph Hitler could be exceedingly charming in a group situation with his energetic jesting. He was particularly good at mimicking people’s voices and mannerisms, so much so that he could reduce an entire room to laughter.
He was, however, a cripple when it came to conversation on the personal level. He was actually incapable of having a two way conversation. He would insist on taking up all the airspace and do as much of the talking as he possibly could.
The same mindset that made him so successful at dominating groups, made him hopeless one-on-one.

Stalin could readily put on a merry personality and pleasant grin. He was good at singing, dancing, and reciting poetry. Women were irresistibly drawn to him. Yet beneath this smiling facade was a mind ticking with calculation.
While Stalin’s case might seem less obvious than Hitler, he is still the type who would instantly raise red flags for a Subtle person. Someone who walks into a room and knows how to instantly become the undisputed center of attention is always suspect. One who can do so with such ease knows what they’re doing. Such a person has an agenda and is not to be trusted.

In modern society, the more gregarious and socially dominant, the better. A subtle person understands that these are warning signs.

Just as one who cannot hear well speaks loudly
One who does not have much to express, expresses most

Introvert Hobbies

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

Leads To: Finding Allies In An Extroverted Society

Extreme introverts are able to go through life believing they are the only one because all others, like them, are driven underground.
However one can find members of a tiny minority by going to places where the like-minded naturally gather.
While there are no introvert bars, there are hobbies that select predominantly for introvert traits. By taking up or seeking out practitioners, one might drastically increase their otherwise small probability of finding a fellow Subtle person.

-It occurs to me that most types of collecting, especially in areas that demand a large amount of specific knowledge, attention to minute detail, and patience, are good candidates:

-Pipe smoking:
One must be gentle and careful with pipes. They are expensive and one can easily ruin them through reckless behavior. There is a fairly elaborate process just to prepare a new pipe to be smoked. Quality is favored over quantity. If one’s first priority was to keep a nicotine habit going or being socially acceptable, they would smoke cigarettes instead. This is also a collector’s hobby that requires a lot of specialized knowledge.

-Anything that involves computers:
Indoors and away from people.

-Coin Collecting
One can often pass up a coin shop without even noticing it. They often don’t have conspicuous signs. People who go there actively look for the place. It is not about fast paced impulse marketing. From outside the interior seems almost like a dark empty cave filled with safes and glass cases. This sort of setting is naturally intimidating to extroverts who prefer bright light and crowds.
One must be familiar with a large body of knowledge to be at home in this environment. Those who come are those who have the patience to sit down with books about coins. Party people eliminated.

-Used rare/book stores
Books and collecting in one. Dimly lit and quiet inside. Just the musty secluded smell says it all. The musty scent of aging pages is a tried and true extrovert repellent but a delight to one who lives in seclusion.

-Hunting
Requires patience and remaining silent for long periods of time. One must be able to stay focused and absorbed even in the absence of a party or concert. Able to take pleasure in the natural world all around, shooting things but one facet of the experience.

-Knitting
Most people today must have the patience to sit down and learn it as adults.
Once very much a social activity i.e. ‘knitting circle,’ it is now a ‘traditional craft.’ ‘Traditional’ meaning most people below 60 don’t do it. Because of scarcity of practitioners, this is now by necessity a hobby one patiently pursues alone.

-Distance endurance sports esp. running/cycling
Selects for those who are self-contained and contemplative. For such people, covering miles is trance-like bliss, not torture as it is for the more social.
Furthermore it is a means of spending large amounts of time alone in the outdoors.

-Chess
A haven for nerds in high school, anyone who pursues it seriously as an adult must be comfortable living within their mind and using it as a tool for complex tasks. One who requires outside stimulation clearly could not concentrate long enough or intensely enough.

These are some possibilities that immediately come to mind…
By extending such criteria, a Subtle person could find other communities with high potential.
I would welcome visitors here to add their own insight concerning where and how to find communities that select for introversion.

The Introvert As An Observer

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

While introverts do not like to constantly interact with people they strongly gravitate towards observing others.

Watching intently what people do in crowds or social situations demands no input from the introvert and can furnish better more reliable information than chatting. In a conversation, any given person is going to say a lot of things about themselves. Are these things true? Are they exaggerated? Are they being deliberately misleading, or does the given person have a flawed self concept? Hard to say.

To answer these questions it is far more reliable to watch what people actually say and do, to observe what they wear, their body language, and how life decisions have shaped/aged their body.

Because introverts are accustomed to operating underneath the surface and fulfilling their needs without anyone knowing, it is second nature to learn everything possible about a situation through observation. With skill, one can learn everything they need to know without revealing themselves.

Contrary to popular wisdom: introverts enjoy crowds. That is, a crowd in which one can float anonymously, like a ghost. Watching people pass by is a pastime in itself. One can fixate on an individual among the many and wonder where they are going, what mood they are in, what their life story is…
Of equal interest is watching for trends in the crowd. What patterns are in common and for whom?

As an example for myself:
An extrovert asks for directions to figure out where they need to go. Usually several times. They typically send out a ping with their social radar every block or so.
I find my way to major attractions or busy areas with all the cool shops by merely observing what everyone else is doing.
I call this tactic: “following the ant trail”
If I want to get to that famous church I watch for tourists and follow them.
If I want to get to the busy shopping area or marketplace, I follow crowds of locals.
If I want to figure out where night life is, I watch for young people dressed up to go clubbing.

When it comes to selecting a restaurant, watching where the locals go is a good bet.

I generally do whatever possible to avoid approaching people. If I don’t know where to go, I study the map and memorize what I need to know so there’s no further need to consult anyone.

Another example:
I found an outstanding blog post by an introvert describing how much there is to learn from watching crowds:

“Then there is the check-out which is always long so I take this time to covertly study the faces of everyone else as they wait in line trying to see if I can guess who will lose their patience first. I’ve gotten good at spotting them because they are the ones who give the impression that they are in complete charge of their situation and it’s quite obvious that they are not. This has got to be one of the most perverse pleasures of an introvert, someone who derives so much pleasure from bearing witness to the social pathologies in their local grocery store.”

full post at:

Since an introvert is inherently removed from Surface society from youth, it becomes second nature to see the surrounding crowds in terms of trends. These currents and eddies a Subtle person perceives are no less than a force of nature– one that is potentially quite dangerous.
Yet in a crowd the introvert feels safety while looking out upon the activities of the many. The feeling is very like viewing fascinating terrain for miles around from the top of a secure stone citadel.
This security comes from what a computer person might call ‘security through obfuscation.’ One is in the open and in theory perfectly vulnerable but
-if no one knows who you are
-if everyone is surrounded by too many people to notice any single person
then one might as well be invincible and free to fulfill one’s needs without fear of attracting attention.
Watching the frantic activities of everyone else at peace in the crowd is very like watching a blizzard while sitting indoors by a crackling hearth. An introvert peers with delicious pleasure and fascination into milling crowds as one might peer into a hypnotic cascade of countless snowflakes.

Introverts: Creatures of the Night

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

“You’re looking tired.”
“You look like you just got up.”
“Why don’t you go to bed earlier.”

These are frequent comments an introvert hears in the morning at work/school/whatever place we must subject ourselves to.

Night time, especially the wee hours is the one time of day that is completely quiet and undisturbed. These hours are the most valuable temporal real estate by far.
They are the one time of day the introvert can live without inhibition, without the fear of unorthodox habits resulting in punishment.
In the darkness, any extroverts still wandering about cannot watch everything everyone else is doing and their copious energies are nearly spent.

Even this brief glorious window of time cannot be enjoyed without price. As if they can smell the dried juice of forbidden fruit on one’s shirt front, those social people are there in the morning asking suspicious questions. It as if if they sense one has dared live for a little while outside their jurisdiction.

Affronted, the introvert shrinks from them and from the daylight in which they bounce about and thrive.

Does this sound paranoid to you, reader? If so, you just don’t get it.
Seeing aggression in probably innocuous behavior is part of life as an introvert:
-They are a part of the social machine that is causing harm to the introvert. This is aggression. It is not deliberate or even individual aggression, but that of an immune system or that of a strangling vine(of which they are but one probing tendril).
-They may know not what they do but this just makes it more annoying.
-It makes it more annoying still that it is impossible to talk with them about their conduct. Every incident is a reminder of one’s Incorrectness and their Correctness.

Bah! I hate the morning long live the night!

The Ommitted Need

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

Introverts, those who are forced to live beneath the surface of the Main Stream, often find themselves lonely and isolated, though they may be living amongst countless millions of people. Even as they require human contact, they must also exercise caution to avoid notice and the social censure that must come with it.

Food, shelter, clothing are the usual requirements listed for a human being. Social interaction is a fourth one that seems to be ommitted.

One who has gone months at a time with limited human interaction understands that it is not conversation that one misses most but rather the need for human touch.
This writer knows this feeling all too well. My skin would begin to prickle and itch after the first few months. I would constantly have to stimulate my fingertips and all the most sensitive spots along my fingers with my fingernails. After more than half a year, I would feel a cold burning across every inch of my skin. This feeling produces an icy, aching longing that permeates one’s being. It’s not the sort of cold one can warm with blankets or hot showers. What sleep one can obtain when in such a state is no escape, one wakes exhausted and cold, knowing that the body has not truly rested or relaxed.

When in such a state, the slightest accidental brush of someone’s fingertip sends a flood of warmth throughout the body and desperate longing for more. The texture of every ripple and whorl of that fingertip lingers in one’s mind for minutes afterwards. The spot that was touched smolders with a pleasurable ache until it finally cools. In social situations, one must struggle to keep one’s composure, unable to acknowledge what good someone just did with a mere accidental touch. They would never understand. Worse, one could attract criticism or even punishment for behaving so strangely in public.

The introvert gradually learns to fulfill one need and then others while remaining beneath notice. In time, this becomes the preferred approach and from such practice grows a lifestyle and worldview that is alien to those who live on the Surface.
From this formative experience comes the introvert “desire to attain their needs without touching other people too deeply.”

The Moonlit Path

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

A great many introverts, especially early in life, believe that they are the only one.

They yearn for some sense of belonging in a society that seems to reject them at every turn.

Later in life, there is no way one can explain what it was like. That it was not just one of the normal pains of growing up. That it was to see all of society in motion as if entombed behind a pane of thick and impenetrable glass.
One grows up with a completely different background from everyone else, can never really confide or ask for understanding. Isolation begets isolation. Every year one grows farther still from the sunlit world. In time one gladly travels down the divergent path enjoying the fulfillment the other way promises to all yet delivers to far too few.

At the beginning of the moonlit path
When one is young and outcast,
There is a lonely sort of torture
To be the only one
Is a very different thing than being alone

The Albatross

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

Because introverts spend many hours alone, they are often misconstrued as lacking, or having lesser capacity for friendship and love for their fellow human beings.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

There is a type of bird called the albatross that glides over thousands of miles of empty sea. But it always eventually returns to the same small and isolated island in the same place to meet with its lifelong mate.

The introvert is an albatross:

Soaring above a curved horizon
Of rolling lapis lazuli dunes
This desert of time and space is its element
It will never forget its spirit’s home
When it comes time to return to love and life’s companions
It is as though not a moment has passed.

Extroverts typically attempt to keep surrounded by people most of the time. The bonds they form in the competitive social group require constant reinforcement to stay alive. The typical extrovert friendship is a fire lit only with kindling. It must constantly, emphatically be renewed or else fade away. Its maintenance is a constant task, a drain of the self for all involved for the sake of the social artifact they wish to create. Even the greatest of ‘pals’ are quickly reduced to sending each other cards at Christmas without regular face to face interaction.

The introvert friendship is seldom, but it is based on a deep loyalties that are not so tied to place and circumstance as a bond quickly and adeptly acquired. More specifically, the introvert friendship exists underneath the tumultuous surface of the mass society. Companionship, fellowship, and maintenance are all one and the same. There are no chores to perform in the introvert friendship. It is self-sustaining and a source of renewal for those involved. It lasts a lifetime, outside of the larger society, outside of time.

To Touch Without Touching Another

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

I stumbled upon an outstanding post concerning the nature of introverts at this URL.

The author makes an excellent analogy using a story from the bible and then ties it up with a striking insights about how touch, whether physically touching others or their lives is carries special meaning for the introvert.
The author sums up this line of inquiry with the statement.
“They desire to attain their needs without touching other people too deeply.”

Being Different vs. Being ‘Original’

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

One might argue mass societies are tolerant of those who do not observe common practices: After all, there are many people with body piercings, tattoos, or even deliberately different hairstyles such as mohawks. On college campuses in particular, one finds a great variety of cosmetic departures from the norm.
This contingent of those who adopt a certain out of the ordinary ‘look’ are all too often in their own words, ‘being original.’
Such persons, however, tend to confuse their often ostentatious trappings with the actual state of being different in one’s values and formative experience.

In fact: the ‘original’ emphatically embrace the larger extrovert culture promoted in Western mass society. They exhibit the belief that the outer advertisement they have adopted creates the desired reality underneath. The man with the blue mohawk at the club, or the woman in college dressed like a hippie are just exhibiting the common set of attention-getting behaviors that the mass society promotes. Adopting an unorthodox exterior is just another way to gain recognition and increase status within the accepted order. The ‘original’ undergo a personal upgrade so that their self-banner can get more clicks. Those who are ‘original,’ desperately try to cultivate this status, expending considerable capital and actively changing their appearance, habits, and music preferences so that they can be accorded this title.
Such ‘originals’ are certainly celebrated in segments of the mass society: ironically, they more than most adhere to the accepted values.

Those who are different never tried to be as they are. In fact, those who are different needed not make any effort at all; the distinction of otherness was thrust upon them by no choice of their own. Their condition is not a commercial ploy for ‘originality’ but a stigma that follows them through life, though they might try to hide it.

Many who are different have spent years of their life at some point in lamentation. The journey to self-acceptance and conscious departure is a long hard one against every current in the stream. One who is different often knows pride for having endured, but does not flaunt it. It is a grim sort of pride, the divergent self that has been ‘earned’ is absolutely to be concealed from public ridicule. The one who is different is circumspect in their personal matters. Being different was never the aim, but rather the privilege to be different. It is a privilege that can be revoked at a moment’s notice, so one who is different often fits a personality type known as ‘introverted.’ It is in the interest of one who is different to avoid attention, to live beneath the surface and limit one’s close associations to kindred souls.

Those who strive to be ‘original’ are a mockery of everything the different introvert represents. By ‘being themselves’ they attempt to change who they are. By ‘being unique’ they aggressively reduce themselves to a public commodity.
Their lack of understanding is implicit in the fact that they try to earn as a distinction what is inflicted as stigma. Their ‘rebellion’ that stays strictly within the context of accepted society is an exercise in conformity. Their approach of putting form before substance is the opposite of everything they simulate having become.

Ultimately, ‘original’ and different are inimical. The former firmly within the sunlit world and the other under the light of the moon.

The Dumb and Silent Type

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

It is a regular occurrence in the life of an introvert to be presumed dumb on account of their habitual reserve in both speech and mannerism.

Extroverts take the outgoing individual to be not only to be an ‘achiever’ and a ‘leader’ but also as more intelligent.
As a male extrovert I know that extroverted women, in particular can be rude and dismissive towards those who are not outspoken.
For more on this ‘Elizabeth Bennet syndrome,’ there’s my other blog, WordPressed Latinum.

In general, if one values form over substance, then it follows according to extrovert thought that one who is intelligent actively appears to be intelligent, aggressively self promoting and letting everyone know about their talents.
One who is extroverted must think to themself: If I were intelligent I would use my talents to secure more social status, therefore, this person I see on the periphery must be an idiot.

One whose mind is wholly devoted to social matters tends not to understand what someone could possibly be doing with their mind while not socially involved. Such silence and uninvolvement seems to them like the vacuous staring of a lobotomy patient. Hence one gets “Hello, anybody home?” instead of “A penny for your thoughts.”
Suppositions of stupidity are in part a reaction to the aloofness of the introvert. In some cases, the introvert might not seem stupid to them, but they act aggressively because they view the lack of participation as arrogance and disdain, a slap in the face of everyone in the group.
Finally and most simply, with people living competitively in groups, the silent outsider of course makes a convenient outlet for all the frustrations that cannot be otherwise vented.

The underlying problem is that while an introvert can never forget that they are in a hostile country, the extrovert can live a lifetime without scarcely ever being aware any other way exists. Those few introverts they do happen to meet in social venues will generally be doing their utmost to keep their true nature concealed. On the chance that the presence of an introvert becomes clear, their misunderstanding and shock leads them to ascribe negative attributes and act out of frustration.
Thus a cruel irony: an introvert who would like nothing better than to be left alone by the highly social is doomed to always be disturbed.