Introvert vs. Extrovert: Socializing

They say introverts hate socializing, but it’s just not true.  In fact, most of my life I’ve been starved for a proper social life here in America.

The typical American’s idea of socializing or a “good time” is going to a restaurant where you’re on a conveyor belt, stressed out waiters with bags under their eyes pestering you to leave.  Or to a bar packed with strangers competing for attention.  That’s life “in the fast lane” for you.  A relentless rat race that depletes life and debases the spirit.

If you joined me in a laid back coffee shop, where we could relax, I could talk with you all day long.
I’d light up a cigar every now and then, put it out in the ash tray and perhaps after another hour of leisurely conversation, relight it for awhile.  I would get you a cigar, if you liked, so you could join me.

Maybe every couple of hours we’d order up some biscuits or other light fare that could be dunked in our coffee and nibbled on bit by bit.

And perhaps we’d finish up with some kind of digestif, a nice brandy, or an old sherry or port.

Mediterranean cultures are stereotypically extroverted, but I’m not so sure.  I learned a certain ethos from them.  They acknowledge you as a human being, will give you hours without looking frantically at the time or worrying about their precious “schedule.”   There’s a place for one on one interaction or small groups in leisurely settings not dominated by screaming and loud music.    You can see old people and children coming and going; there’s no artificial barrier between “the adult world” and all the rest of society.

Loud people degrade human interaction into new forms of competition or in its lowest form, simply into “networking,” the process of many people using each other on a superficial level in a system of endlessly shifting short term alliances to get things they want right now.
Indeed, it’s misleading to call this kind of interaction ‘human.’

Worse, they instinctively try to drag everyone else down with them.

If you don’t buy into their silly game or enjoy spending all your time in noisy crowds of strangers, they’ll call you “shy” or even worse, “an introvert.”

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4 responses to “Introvert vs. Extrovert: Socializing

  1. Very true. People tend to judge simply based on the activities a person pursues and not on the means and purposes in which they do them.

  2. I do not understand why extroverted people engage in insubstantial conversations. My refusal to do the same led them to conclude that I “do not like people”. The kind of interaction that you described is they one I truly enjoy.

  3. “If you don’t buy into their silly game or enjoy spending all your time in noisy crowds of strangers, they’ll call you “shy” or even worse, “an introvert.””

    Or worst of all: a loner.

  4. This was such a delight to read, i just love this: “A relentless rat race that depletes life and debases the spirit”, and your concept of “networking” , i could not agree more.

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