I rather enjoy drinking alone.
And yes, I’m quite aware of the implications in our wider society.
Yes, my family has a history of alcoholism.
Yes, I drink most days of the week.
Already, many people might ask me questions about a river in Egypt.
By the standards of my birth culture, I am prime alcoholic material.
Alone, I love to have a beer or some wine with dinner. And then maybe some port, brandy, or sherry for dessert.
Alone on the hottest day of summer there’s nothing like a bottle of rose champagne poured over ice, paired with fresh, chilled nectarines and overripe mangoes.
In the autumn, there’s nothing like crisp hard cider, sweet porters, and bittersweet stouts served with ham, bacon, aged cheddar, and apples.
As the weather turns cold, there’s a special delight to be taken in fiery spirits like a good brandy or whiskey sipped straight while reclining by a fireplace.
I find that alcohol has the ability to carry the intimate imprint of a taste, a smell, a place better than any other substance.
I remember being amazed the first time I had a certain scotch from an island off the coast of northern Scotland. It tasted overwhelmingly of peat smoke and of the sea. It made me imagine myself sitting alone in a small, warm hut on a forbidding northern isle able to hear winds howling outside and waves crashing at the bottom of a rocky cliff…
I’ve watched the way extroverts drink and as far as I can tell, they don’t drink for any of the same reasons I do.
Classic extroverts tend to drink:
In unfamiliar public places with unfamiliar people – to deliberately lower inhibitions. Imbibing in excess gives a socially accepted excuse to misbehave and vent one’s pent up social repression. Alcohol becomes an attempt to escape from responsibility and even from the oppressive prison of oneself.
It doesn’t really matter what they drink so long as it gets them drunk. Generally, the more the taste of the alcohol can be masked(to encourage easy overindulgence) the better. If there’s a killer hangover, no problem. It will make a great story to tell one’s friends.
The Subtle person drinks in safe, comfortable places, in the home, with close friends and family, often alone. Imbibing in excess is unpleasant and unseemly.
The desirable effect is a relaxed, contemplative, spiritual state. To be content to sit and enjoy that wonderful feeling of just being alive, to read a book, or to write.
Not just any drink will do. It must be something that makes both body and soul feel good. While drinking…and afterwards.
This Subtle ethic is one that many mainstream people can’t understand. On the occasion I catch myself speaking of my fondness of good drink, I sometimes see a funny look on other people’s faces.
The main society offers two possibilities in this vein.
a. You’re a drunk.
b. You’re a snob.
How does a Subtle person convey the idea of alcohol as more of a sacred drug as opposed to a mere party drug or a crude tool to signal social status?
The narratives offered by the mainstream birth culture are a barren expanse with little to offer.
Imagine using ‘sacred’ and ‘alcohol’ in the same sentence in actual conversation!
Perhaps better just to drink alone, in the home, with intimates.
Judging by the frequency of drinking, you do sound like a drunk, but you seem to drink for different reasons.
As for snobbery, maybe people misunderstand you and think you’re judging their taste in alcohol instead of their reasons for consuming it?
Consider 2 standard drinks per day for 7 days vs. 14 drinks on one Friday night or perhaps a 7/7 division between Friday and Saturday night.
Who is the drunk and who is the moderate(social drinker)? Consider that ‘social drinker’ and ‘moderate drinker’ are often used interchangeably.
In the standard cultural narrative, social drinkers are really the only kind of drinker. Anyone who drinks alone is understood to be drinking ‘in between’ social events.
I am pointing out that the idea of someone drinking alone, for their own satisfaction, but not at social events is totally alien.
Thus if you ever tell someone: “I like to drink alone.” You have admitted you are a drunk. The other person does not care if your consumption amounts to a glass of wine with dinner.
The breaking of the social taboo is more significant in securing you the status of ‘drunk’ than is any actual amount of alcohol you may have drank.
Society has a schizoid relationship with alcohol because it is a dangerous intoxicant that is also part of established custom. If you drink at all you have no choice but to accept these terms. Remember, you are allowed to drink, but only if you follow custom. It is a mistake to imagine that, because alcohol is legal, the taboo against altering your consciousness has been lifted. You are not allowed. Indeed, you are not allowed even to have a personality until and unless you have won enough status — power and money — upon which you can then purchase your right to be a character. Drinking alone is an insolent act of rebellion: how dare you suppose that alcohol is available to you for the pursuit of solitary rewards? All other chemical means to enlightenment are banned, and alcohol would be too were it not for the fact that it can easily be made in a bathtub. That, and the fact that it is useful to our rulers as a safety valve, served to you with a wink and a leer. Look at us drinking! Let’s get into a huddle and delight in our freedom to pursue this guilty pleasure, this vice. The strictures are onerous, the taxes levied on each barrel more onerous still. But if you drink at home on your own you are straying into dangerous territory. You will be seen to have usurped to yourself the limited freedom grudgingly dispensed as a means of social control, and will be dealt with accordingly.
You make some good observations, Martin.
I have a term for safety valves such as socially permitted drugs and ‘entertainment.’ I call them ‘misery enablers‘ because they have the effect of raising a society’s tolerance for an overall low quality of life.
I love dark beer and IPA’s….
My favorite place to drink is the beach….
I like feeling a little loose and it motivates me to do more physical excersize. It also forces me to moderate as more than one or two rinks will cause dehydration.
I dislike bars and nighclubs. However, I’ll throw back a pint of dark beer at one of those venues every so often.
Marry me…
Reverently,
Introvert Femme Drinking Alone