No matter where you go, nothing changes that much. Each new set of people behaves much as the last. A past history of low social rank or outright social exclusion leaves its mark that follows us around wherever we go. One begins to appreciate just how effective human beings are at being social animals, just how competitive social existence is. Almost regardless of intelligence level, people can make a quick call based on how someone speaks(0r doesn’t speak) and holds their shoulders. They always know on that gut level whether or not you’re confident and capable of defending yourself. Whether or not you have friends and allies to back you up. Whether or not you would be a useful ally to them. The past keeps repeating itself, it’s a tough cycle to break out of. There’s a couple days(at most) after meeting each new group of people before one is put into their place. For lots of introverts it’s the same place time after time, no matter how they might scramble to put on appearances during that brief introductory period. It’s like going through life with a mark of Cain imprinted in one’s forehead as one wanders from place to place.
Most people automatically perform these social processes and have little or no conscious awareness of what they do. For the pensive introvert, they are painfully obvious even as they see yet another group going through its predictable motions.
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Pardon if this question is too intrusive, but in addition to introversion, are you also shy? Just curious.
I consider myself as an introvert, but then I don’t know, I might as well be an ambivert or a shy extrovert. Nonetheless, I’ve had extrovert friends who I think are some of the most wonderful persons that I know. Or are they just ambiverts?
I don’t consider myself shy. I just don’t thrive on a constant diet of social interaction with numerous strangers. I don’t enjoy small talk that much(I can look out the window and see the weather for myself.) I don’t much like conversation with more than one person at a time or in a crowded room with lots of people talking at once.
Maybe you ask if I’m shy because you wonder if I was visibly cringing away every time someone tried to talk to me? The point of the article is that people always know an outsider on some level even when the signs aren’t obvious, no matter where you go.
Do you also find most people over-dramatic and tiresome? Because I really find them annoying, they give me headache (The Extroverted One).
You have to be dramatic, you have to memorable to live in the world as an extrovert. You have to steal the scene from everyone else who’s trying to make one. If I had to make a horror movie for extroverts, the main character would engage in jolly conversations with a whole room of people at a party and find out later they don’t even remember his or her name. The only problem is that this probably happens too often in real life. As we see with advertising, all product promotion looks alike once we’ve gotten the general idea.
Hey this is Adi. I have been reading a lot of your posts and like this blog a lot and I am posting for the first time.
I have a question that has been bugging me since I first started reading some of your posts. Before that let me clarify that I am your fellow intorvert as well. What I want to ask is, I still don’t understand a purpose of life that doesn’t involve social success and achieving a position in society. Because, the way I have been growing up, a lot of things that you have mentioned are extrovert traits are, the ones I have possessed too in spite of being an introvert. And yes, the way you have stated earlier, I too have wished that I was a person who is sought after by people, can make social bonds easily. But it hasn’t happened and then after realizing my true selves, I have started accepting myself. But still, I do not understand the purpose of life if you remain completely detached and aloof from society. Can you explain what are you living this life for? One example could be living for a very crazy passion if you do possess one. But what if you don’t?