Monthly Archives: April 2009

The Myth of Introvert Sociopathy

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

The stereotype in real life and in Hollywood is that serial killers or those who go on shooting rampages are nearly always described as being ‘really quiet.’

I have repeatedly had people jokingly say things like ‘you’re gonna be a serial killer,’ or ‘you act like a terrorist’ simply on account of my habitual reserve in public.

This popular representation of destructive sociopathic/narcissistic personalities represents a critical misunderstanding.

An impassive mien is thought to be evidence of sociopathy, but the opposite is the case.

No sociopath would actually appear to be devoid of emotion. Such persons are calculated enough to understand that they need to emote in the right ways to get what they want.
While a Subtle person’s personality is grounded, a sociopath is a social chameleon, changing effortlessly into whatever form suits their needs.
A sociopath sees the world only in terms of superficial appearances. The meaning of any thing comes not from what it is, but what reaction it gets from others. A classic trait of a sociopathic/narcissistic personality is that they don’t perceive other humans as people so much as bundles of socially flipped triggers that set various processes into motion.
For one who is Subtle, mass society is but a tool to further the wellbeing of the individual.
For a sociopath: There is no such thing as an individual. There is only society itself.

For most people, the social ghost is invisible.
For a sociopath, only the social ghost can be seen.

Introverts are known for being socially awkward in orthodox society.
Sociopaths on the other hand possess such mastery that they operate on a technical level. Other human beings seem as contemptible simpletons to them. Successful domination and manipulation are among their greatest pleasures in life:

I recall reading about a young man named Eric Harris who got in trouble for some sort of vandalism along with his friend Dylan Klebold.
Harris wrote a clearly calculated apology letter in a syrupy and exaggerated tone. Submitting such a vehement apology when he felt no remorse at all was a game for him:
It was a way to attempt to reduce his punishment and better still, to be able to watch some dupe eat up his platitudes as if he had actually meant them.

Most readers will probably know that these two young men later became infamous for a school shooting.
It is not as well known, though, that they were not quiet, meek, and secluded. Both boys were regular fixtures in their high school’s party scene and the local Goth clique was hardly the only group they hung out with. Their rampage was not a protest but a massive attention-getting behavior.

Most sociopathic killers have been integrated respectable members of society with spouses, children, or a significant other. I would surmise that such people are more likely to possess these tokens of social success than the average individual. They know all the right steps, all the right things to say and do. They’ve become good at working the system because they enjoy it. I remember seeing articles in the news about a man who after years of wives dying under suspicious circumstances or outright disappearing was finally standing trial. Everyone knew this guy did it, all that was lacking was some more substantial evidence. Far from being an outcast, this guy seemed to have always had another girl standing in line whenever he offed the last one.

I must admit:
The Virginia Tech shooter gave me pause. He had been known as an exceedingly quiet and closed individual. I stopped and seriously asked myself as I had before: “Am I serial killer material just as so many suggest?”
“Is my notion of separation from the larger society just a manifestation of narcissism?”

Yet when I examined the situation more closely, the pattern was clear.
While not overtly Loud, the Virginia Tech shooter had repeatedly striven for attention by writing sensationalistic, angsty, gratuitously violent stories and plays. None of these efforts, apparently, succeeded in satisfactorily achieving his aims. The shooting was the ultimate attention-getting behavior. His performance even came with a playbill he distributed to all the news agencies.

If one sees the world in terms of social constructs:
Social recognition/publicity is the most precious of all things.
Then consider that one can labor long and hard through a lifetime for only a lottery ticket probability of becoming famous.
Or:
One can go out in a blaze of gory. In one day, one can gain more notoriety than in an entire lifetime.
If one barely has any notion of a concrete identity and has difficulty conceiving of others as human beings, then social recognition is more important than life itself. For one’s existence to be socially recognized then is life.
For a sociopathic personality a demise in a sudden outburst of violence is a perfectly rational thing to do.

Upon examination:
Not only is a Subtle person not the epitome of a sociopath/serial killer, but the polar opposite.

I would go as far as to say that a true introvert is an anti-sociopath.

Indeed most socially manipulative people, and especially sociopaths tailor their behavior to the highly social. As such, their crafty approach frequently seems transparent to introverts.
For one to whom small talk is white noise, there must be actual content in a conversation.
A sociopath often malfunctions when faced with such expectations. In their view there is no such thing as meaningful content in a conversation– only that which brings them closer to their aims.

Adolph Hitler could be exceedingly charming in a group situation with his energetic jesting. He was particularly good at mimicking people’s voices and mannerisms, so much so that he could reduce an entire room to laughter.
He was, however, a cripple when it came to conversation on the personal level. He was actually incapable of having a two way conversation. He would insist on taking up all the airspace and do as much of the talking as he possibly could.
The same mindset that made him so successful at dominating groups, made him hopeless one-on-one.

Stalin could readily put on a merry personality and pleasant grin. He was good at singing, dancing, and reciting poetry. Women were irresistibly drawn to him. Yet beneath this smiling facade was a mind ticking with calculation.
While Stalin’s case might seem less obvious than Hitler, he is still the type who would instantly raise red flags for a Subtle person. Someone who walks into a room and knows how to instantly become the undisputed center of attention is always suspect. One who can do so with such ease knows what they’re doing. Such a person has an agenda and is not to be trusted.

In modern society, the more gregarious and socially dominant, the better. A subtle person understands that these are warning signs.

Just as one who cannot hear well speaks loudly
One who does not have much to express, expresses most

Absolution

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

If the very existence of one’s proclivities and personality is deemed an illness, a blight, simply the wrong answer to what society desires: it is in a word to be Incorrect. To not commit a crime but to be a crime.
To form into a new society that selects for the traits that the original society selected against:
This would be Absolution from being a sin.

Introvert Hobbies

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

Leads To: Finding Allies In An Extroverted Society

Extreme introverts are able to go through life believing they are the only one because all others, like them, are driven underground.
However one can find members of a tiny minority by going to places where the like-minded naturally gather.
While there are no introvert bars, there are hobbies that select predominantly for introvert traits. By taking up or seeking out practitioners, one might drastically increase their otherwise small probability of finding a fellow Subtle person.

-It occurs to me that most types of collecting, especially in areas that demand a large amount of specific knowledge, attention to minute detail, and patience, are good candidates:

-Pipe smoking:
One must be gentle and careful with pipes. They are expensive and one can easily ruin them through reckless behavior. There is a fairly elaborate process just to prepare a new pipe to be smoked. Quality is favored over quantity. If one’s first priority was to keep a nicotine habit going or being socially acceptable, they would smoke cigarettes instead. This is also a collector’s hobby that requires a lot of specialized knowledge.

-Anything that involves computers:
Indoors and away from people.

-Coin Collecting
One can often pass up a coin shop without even noticing it. They often don’t have conspicuous signs. People who go there actively look for the place. It is not about fast paced impulse marketing. From outside the interior seems almost like a dark empty cave filled with safes and glass cases. This sort of setting is naturally intimidating to extroverts who prefer bright light and crowds.
One must be familiar with a large body of knowledge to be at home in this environment. Those who come are those who have the patience to sit down with books about coins. Party people eliminated.

-Used rare/book stores
Books and collecting in one. Dimly lit and quiet inside. Just the musty secluded smell says it all. The musty scent of aging pages is a tried and true extrovert repellent but a delight to one who lives in seclusion.

-Hunting
Requires patience and remaining silent for long periods of time. One must be able to stay focused and absorbed even in the absence of a party or concert. Able to take pleasure in the natural world all around, shooting things but one facet of the experience.

-Knitting
Most people today must have the patience to sit down and learn it as adults.
Once very much a social activity i.e. ‘knitting circle,’ it is now a ‘traditional craft.’ ‘Traditional’ meaning most people below 60 don’t do it. Because of scarcity of practitioners, this is now by necessity a hobby one patiently pursues alone.

-Distance endurance sports esp. running/cycling
Selects for those who are self-contained and contemplative. For such people, covering miles is trance-like bliss, not torture as it is for the more social.
Furthermore it is a means of spending large amounts of time alone in the outdoors.

-Chess
A haven for nerds in high school, anyone who pursues it seriously as an adult must be comfortable living within their mind and using it as a tool for complex tasks. One who requires outside stimulation clearly could not concentrate long enough or intensely enough.

These are some possibilities that immediately come to mind…
By extending such criteria, a Subtle person could find other communities with high potential.
I would welcome visitors here to add their own insight concerning where and how to find communities that select for introversion.

The Introvert As An Observer

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

While introverts do not like to constantly interact with people they strongly gravitate towards observing others.

Watching intently what people do in crowds or social situations demands no input from the introvert and can furnish better more reliable information than chatting. In a conversation, any given person is going to say a lot of things about themselves. Are these things true? Are they exaggerated? Are they being deliberately misleading, or does the given person have a flawed self concept? Hard to say.

To answer these questions it is far more reliable to watch what people actually say and do, to observe what they wear, their body language, and how life decisions have shaped/aged their body.

Because introverts are accustomed to operating underneath the surface and fulfilling their needs without anyone knowing, it is second nature to learn everything possible about a situation through observation. With skill, one can learn everything they need to know without revealing themselves.

Contrary to popular wisdom: introverts enjoy crowds. That is, a crowd in which one can float anonymously, like a ghost. Watching people pass by is a pastime in itself. One can fixate on an individual among the many and wonder where they are going, what mood they are in, what their life story is…
Of equal interest is watching for trends in the crowd. What patterns are in common and for whom?

As an example for myself:
An extrovert asks for directions to figure out where they need to go. Usually several times. They typically send out a ping with their social radar every block or so.
I find my way to major attractions or busy areas with all the cool shops by merely observing what everyone else is doing.
I call this tactic: “following the ant trail”
If I want to get to that famous church I watch for tourists and follow them.
If I want to get to the busy shopping area or marketplace, I follow crowds of locals.
If I want to figure out where night life is, I watch for young people dressed up to go clubbing.

When it comes to selecting a restaurant, watching where the locals go is a good bet.

I generally do whatever possible to avoid approaching people. If I don’t know where to go, I study the map and memorize what I need to know so there’s no further need to consult anyone.

Another example:
I found an outstanding blog post by an introvert describing how much there is to learn from watching crowds:

“Then there is the check-out which is always long so I take this time to covertly study the faces of everyone else as they wait in line trying to see if I can guess who will lose their patience first. I’ve gotten good at spotting them because they are the ones who give the impression that they are in complete charge of their situation and it’s quite obvious that they are not. This has got to be one of the most perverse pleasures of an introvert, someone who derives so much pleasure from bearing witness to the social pathologies in their local grocery store.”

full post at:

Since an introvert is inherently removed from Surface society from youth, it becomes second nature to see the surrounding crowds in terms of trends. These currents and eddies a Subtle person perceives are no less than a force of nature– one that is potentially quite dangerous.
Yet in a crowd the introvert feels safety while looking out upon the activities of the many. The feeling is very like viewing fascinating terrain for miles around from the top of a secure stone citadel.
This security comes from what a computer person might call ‘security through obfuscation.’ One is in the open and in theory perfectly vulnerable but
-if no one knows who you are
-if everyone is surrounded by too many people to notice any single person
then one might as well be invincible and free to fulfill one’s needs without fear of attracting attention.
Watching the frantic activities of everyone else at peace in the crowd is very like watching a blizzard while sitting indoors by a crackling hearth. An introvert peers with delicious pleasure and fascination into milling crowds as one might peer into a hypnotic cascade of countless snowflakes.

The Grading Card

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

One might recall how multiple choice tests were graded back in school.
The teacher would take a card with holes punched in the appropriate places and lay it over each test sheet.
Then each test would be graded according to how well the answers lined up with the card.

Few people ace this test, but there are some.
Most people pass comfortably but must put in a significant amount of work to make it.
There are some who do poorly and who just get by.

Then there are a very few who fail to line up with a single hole on the grading card. There is no like alignment, only empty bubbles to be seen.

The traits that society selects for are naturally expressed by a majority, but probability demands that there be those who are completely at odds with the accepted standards.

Every school seems to have that one kid who is completely ostracized/seceded from the group.

There are many thousands of schools, however. In an age of the internet, nearly any group can reach critical mass. Any newly formed group has the opportunity to select its values.
By so doing, a union of those deemed Incorrect could form a new society in which they implicitly belong. By selecting, they would implicity select against the forces that banished them.
In a sense this would at last be Absolution from being a sin.

Sound Familiar?

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

“I hate to say it but my 11 year old nephew is a real nerd. He had NO Friends at all and really does not talk to anyone other than his teachers. He used to be a friendly little boy but liked to talk about things that were quite strange and really had no interest to kids his age. He became an outsider at age 7 and never really recovered. His IQ is at the genius level but his memory is poor so he gets only C’s in school. He is terrible in sports which makes him even more of an outcast because that is what gives kids prestige at his school.

His parents send him to all kinds of organized activities but no one has anything to do with him. So he participates in silence. I tell my sister she needs to send him to get professional help but she disagrees and says no one can learn how to make friends or have social skills, popularity is just something you have or not.

So, do you think professional help can make the boy have friends?”

The whole thread

Commentary:
-I love the phrasing “do you think professional help can make the boy have friends”
It betrays the Loud perspective that friendships are above all social artifacts one accumulates to seem normal.
As for ‘professional help.’ Since most people define themselves and all others by the standards of society, then failure to belong can only be seen as a sickness that needs to be cured.
It is only a matter of time before this kid is given some pills to purge him of his ritual impurities.

-“He became an outsider at age 7 and never really recovered.”
Isolation begets isolation. In a loud society, all social involvement is competition. A child who falls behind at any point has no chance of competing. Even those who are caught up must struggle to survive.

“His IQ is at the genius level but his memory is poor so he gets only C’s in school.”
-Blissfully unclear on the concept. Schoolwork tends to drop in priority when you are the odd one out and everyone around you is a potential enemy. There is always pain and fear. One’s guard is always up.

“He used to be a friendly little boy but liked to talk about things that were quite strange and really had no interest to kids his age.”
This kid had clearly different values and different interests from the start!
Anyone becomes less responsive and friendly when living for years in a hostile environment. Though well intentioned, the poster is clearly disconnected from empathy and understanding on even the most basic of levels.

Every school has that one kid who is not willing or is not able to respond appropriately to social norms. Usually it is a combination of both.
This kid grows up as a pariah, never able to forget that he does not belong.
Then as an adult he is more or less left alone. He has his private domain in which his activities are hidden, life is good. He thinks the past has been left behind. He tries to tell himself it’s just an inconvenient experience he went through as a kid.

Yet these were the formative years. Such a person has been shaped by rejection from childhood. There is more pain and anger there than he would ever be willing to acknowledge.
He has a good job contributing to a society that tried to destroy him from the time he was able to walk.
For all his life he lives under the surface, always hiding his full potential under a bushel.
He might very probably have a stable marriage and children. But nothing ever really changes the fact he is an Incorrectness that never got weeded out.

Thoreau the Introvert

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

One cannot read Walden and be in doubt that its author is a true introvert.
Alone much of the time in his small, secluded cottage, Henry David Thoreau used his distance from society to engage in contemplation concerning the nature and purpose of society itself.

It sends a thrill through me to read passages such as:
-”In a savage state every family owns a shelter as good as the best…In modern civilized society not more than one half the families own a shelter.”
-”Men have become tools of their tools”
-”I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”

It is precisely this sort of thought that escapes those who live on the microscale.

He seems to anticipate modern mass media and its saturation with trivial information when he comments:

“We are eager to tunnel under the Atlantic and bring the Old World some weeks nearer to the New; but perchance the first news that will leak through into the broad, flapping American ear will be that the Princess Adelaide has the whooping cough.”

Thoreau is an introvert who understands the shallowness of a Loud culture striving away only to sustain itself:
He believed that most modern developments are
“But improved means to an unimproved end.”

One can see from Thoreau’s writings how his 19th century America was the clear and logical ancestor of the present day America.

Thoreau’s life is an example of how it is the calling of the introvert to live on the macroscale and to reduce gigantic problems to essentials.
He is an example of how Subtle thought has existed across generations and how such thought by its nature seeks to assign a greater meaning to the human experience and a greater dignity to the individual.

Seldomly Asked Questions

Posted by Gluon the Ferengi on

In the Previous post ‘Lords of Celephais.’

A Ms. Hanna J has asked me some questions about this blog which I will address in post length for the benefit of all readers. Here is her original post:

“While I agree that introverts may often pursue what you refer to as ‘the domain of knowledge and serious hobbies’, I disagree that they necessarily find them more stimulating than ‘the mundane every day life that surrounds them.’ On the contrary, I would say that introverts may be better suited to appreciate the seemingly mundane details that surround them. Then again, I can’t really speak for all the introverts. I’m curious (please don’t take it as a criticism) as to how you arrive at your conclusions regarding introverts as a whole. Is it through observation? Or discussion with other introverts? In any case, thanks for writing. The blog is interesting.”

By mundane daily life, I mean the daily routine of work/school/socialization that tends to absorb most of most people’s time and energy.

I think I know what you mean here: Introverts are indeed deeply inspired by ‘mundane’ details all around us, especially in the natural world. For a true introvert nothing is so captivating as condensed fog dripping from the tips of bare branches.

I write of introversion at an extreme of the spectrum:
I do so because:

a.
Extreme introverts are highly likely to end up isolated and often think of themselves as ‘the only one.’ The internet is a way to reach out to those who need to be told they are not alone and that there is nothing wrong with them; that they should be filled with pride in what they are.

b.
There are few opposing voices to the overwhelmingly extrovert views of our civilization.
Most of the articles out there about introversion are written from an extrovert point of view. They are mainly about how to cure introversion and how it’s ‘not all bad.’ On the occasion that a writer praises introversion, a host of disclaimers and apologies immediately follow.

c.
My intention is to offer a starkly different world view without the disclaimers:
I expect that aspects of it will seem jarring or strange to readers. Even ‘Caring for Your Introvert’(an excellent article) does its best to keep a light bantering tone. Otherwise, it would of course not be published in a magazine.
It is my objective to acknowledge that this is a serious matter. There is nothing funny or warm and fuzzy about living within a hostile society.

d.
So that extroverts might understand there are others out there with vastly different views. To give them some understanding of how much harm they can do without even knowing it.

e.
To draw those with the right sort of tendencies downwards, away from the sparkling Surface.

As for questions of ‘sources’ and ‘conclusions.’ I am not operating from statistical surveys or other formal data.

I am very much an introvert, my friends are introverts. Much of what I write comes from personal observations, but also from many written accounts. Speaking of writing, authors tend to be introverts:
Thus I can look to hobbies, organizations, professions that attract Subtle folk and figure out patterns that they have in common.
Each individual introvert has been misunderstood in the same ways thousands of times by seemingly countless people. Thus, there are unmistakable trends in even one introverted life.
Because this is not a matter of statistics, I go for the root of the matter. I am addressing principles rather than percentages.

The first post I made on this blog is an introductory/mission statement.
One of my very first points is that I am limited by the very language of an extroverted society. I use ‘introvert’ for lack of any better commonly understood descriptor. Indeed I have made up some of my own terms for concepts that simply do not exist in the Surface language.