It is a regular occurrence in the life of an introvert to be presumed dumb on account of their habitual reserve in both speech and mannerism.
Extroverts take the outgoing individual to be not only to be an ‘achiever’ and a ‘leader’ but also as more intelligent.
As a male extrovert I know that extroverted women, in particular can be rude and dismissive towards those who are not outspoken.
For more on this ‘Elizabeth Bennet syndrome,’ there’s my other blog, WordPressed Latinum.
In general, if one values form over substance, then it follows according to extrovert thought that one who is intelligent actively appears to be intelligent, aggressively self promoting and letting everyone know about their talents.
One who is extroverted must think to themself: If I were intelligent I would use my talents to secure more social status, therefore, this person I see on the periphery must be an idiot.
One whose mind is wholly devoted to social matters tends not to understand what someone could possibly be doing with their mind while not socially involved. Such silence and uninvolvement seems to them like the vacuous staring of a lobotomy patient. Hence one gets “Hello, anybody home?” instead of “A penny for your thoughts.”
Suppositions of stupidity are in part a reaction to the aloofness of the introvert. In some cases, the introvert might not seem stupid to them, but they act aggressively because they view the lack of participation as arrogance and disdain, a slap in the face of everyone in the group.
Finally and most simply, with people living competitively in groups, the silent outsider of course makes a convenient outlet for all the frustrations that cannot be otherwise vented.
The underlying problem is that while an introvert can never forget that they are in a hostile country, the extrovert can live a lifetime without scarcely ever being aware any other way exists. Those few introverts they do happen to meet in social venues will generally be doing their utmost to keep their true nature concealed. On the chance that the presence of an introvert becomes clear, their misunderstanding and shock leads them to ascribe negative attributes and act out of frustration.
Thus a cruel irony: an introvert who would like nothing better than to be left alone by the highly social is doomed to always be disturbed.
yes, you speak the very unfortunate truth. It seems like extroverts’ mouths malfunction and cannot stop emitting obnoxious pointless noises all day long. It’s quite ironic that they are too dull to comprehend any reason someone would ever have anything better to do. I wouldn’t mind extroverts as much if it weren’t for the tendency to ostracice anyone who is unique enough to have more individualized personality traits than them. I don’t see why just because all they do is talk all day I should also have to. Narcistic extroverts really aren’t as interesting as they think they are.
Introverts speak because they have something to say.extroverts speak because they have to say SOMETHING.
That’s a good one, Anton. o_o
And, another wonderfully written article.
I never really got the “why is she staring so blankly all the time”, but more of the “why id she so angry and quiet all the time”. My default face looks very unhappy, and I tend to twist it around a little when I think really hard. Even if I’m thinking of something nice, I forget to show it/put on a show of it. It probably unsettles people!
I can definitely relate to this. :]
Those who live more in the mind are not always aware of events in the exterior world.
Keeping our face, mannerisms, clothing acceptable takes an extra effort. It really is a chore. I’ve gotten way better over time, but my situational awareness is still less than average. This lack of awareness insulated me from a lot of social conventions from a very early age.
I think the real issue about an ‘unhappy’ face is that its more of a neutral defensive face. It’s a mask to wear in an everyday social life when one doesn’t have the skills to keep up with other people. It’s also a screen saver for when the mind wanders elsewhere.
Is your face really naturally unhappy or do you think of it as such because that’s what people are telling you?
The social people in modern cultures seem to see the mere lack of smiling as an indicator of unhappiness. (even when they’re secretly popping pills so they can manage to keep on smiling.) Ironically, their laughing and smiling is often as much a mask as the neutral defensive face. Unlike introverts, however, they usually don’t have the self-knowledge to realize why they do what they do.
This really becomes a problem at work. I have been told multiple times over the last few years, how I should speak up in meetings.
When I point out that the only thing that is worth saying is usually said in the first five minutes and then everyone else just keeps stating the same thing in different ways, I get the well then you should do it too response. That is just stupid though. Why would I want to kill extra time by saying the same thing for the fifth or sixth time? Yet, I hear this now almost monthly if not weekly.
It’s not what people actually do or say in a meeting, it’s whether they’ve worked towards a feeling of group unity and consensus. You lock some people up in a room together for a couple hours, they fall into their natural hierarchy and figure out who fits in their culture best and who does not. Indeed it seems people quickly figured out you weren’t with the group spirit, nor were you willing to go through the motions of obeisance to the group agenda. Such behavior is little less than defiance in Loudthink.
“In some cases, the introvert might not seem stupid to them, but they act aggressively because they view the lack of participation as arrogance and disdain, a slap in the face of everyone in the group.”
I have noticed this to be true. Instead of seeing it as shyness or wanting to be left alone at that particular moment, they interpret it was snobbiness,which is completely untrue.