Men with strongly Subtle tendencies typically have acute difficulties in relating to the opposite sex.
Women are as a whole more socially oriented than men and this can be a huge obstacle for the least social of men who are also the least social human beings.
Relating to women is difficult because the highly social ‘girly girl’ is the polar opposite of a Subtle man. She is a creature of brightness, daylight, and fleeting passions while the Subtle man loves the safety of shadow, anonymity, and long term devotion.
It is easy for an introvert man to come to the conclusion that he hasn’t the slightest thing in common with women and has very little place for them in his life.
On the other hand, a Subtle man is still a man. One of his strongest instincts is to desire a woman in his life. A life without sex and physical affection is difficult and lonely.
When it comes to girls, he is torn between the anger seeping from his lifetime of emotional scar tissue and his annoyingly unkillable hope for intimacy, love, and acceptance.
Thus we have the Girl Conundrum that is the torment of introverted guys everywhere.
Solution #1 – PUA
Many introvert men notice that they have never had success with women and they decide they need to change. Who do they need to become? The pickup artists who can seduce girls whenever they want, of course. The PUA community promises access to what was inaccessible, power instead of helplessness, and even vengeance intead of being trampled underfoot. All these together form an irresistible formula and indeed many gurus of pickup claim to have once been average frustrated guys with no ‘game.’ Indeed, many outcasts find a home in this place. This community has lots of philosophy and insight about human nature. It’s an exciting, stimulating place to be for bright, outcast men. There’s nothing to lose and no reason not to take as much from women as possible. After all, every introvert man has seen numerous times from his low ranking position how awfully, how truly condescendingly girls treat anyone they consider beneath them. He has no reason to offer any mercy or concessions. He would rather just be himself, but her unfortunately outdated packet of instincts precludes honesty. Against a lifetime of isolation and struggling for survival at the very bottom, the realpolitik philosophy of pickup makes sense.
Unfortunately it still doesn’t resolve the Girl Conundrum. Provided someone gets somewhere with PUA tactics, that’s definitely an improvement over isolation, but all the same issues remain. Reducing women down to a packet of instincts hardly fosters respect for them and yet he still has that desire for love and acceptance with a woman he respects and trusts. His desires remain in contradiction. Some introverted guys understandably relegate ‘loving relationships’ to the trash heap of other outright lies and unhelpful advice they’ve been given all their lives. Their anger is strong, but they would love nothing better than to learn that they’re mistaken. They remain torn between hate and hope.
I never got into the pickup community, but I definitely read some PUA works and benefited from them. For some people it takes the almost mechanical pragmatism of these books to awake from the reigning politically correct gender feminist garbage. It’s potentially a step in the right direction. Two out of four stars.
Solution #2 – MRA
I didn’t know these guys existed until I looked for them on the internet. A few years ago, I’d just returned from a foreign country where the girls had been much nicer and I was experiencing severe reverse culture shock in my home country. Surely someone had noticed that girls here were impossible! I entered search terms into google, probing for anyone out there who might have had the same thoughts. To my surprise there was a lively community of men who are tired of the contempt and disrespect that men regularly receive from women and the feminist establishment. Unsurprisingly, a good portion of these men seem to be introverts, who have seen mostly the very worst of the opposite sex.
For me, MRA writings have done more than any other source to get rid of cultural baggage and put maleness in its proper perspective. They have a broad focus and explain methodically with statistics how gender relations work in aggregate across entire societies. The system revealed by their analysis is one of stark injustice that stems from both the facts of biology and social expectations. MRA writers like to patiently and systematically point out all the ways that women are in fact privileged. One comes away from such reading with higher confidence and with lesser need to put women on a pedestal. However, this literature doesn’t endear women to the reader or bring one much closer to a loving relationship. Girl conundrum unsolved. Yet it is vital in teaching men how not to be exploited by the opposite sex. MRA writers provide a plan for independence from women, an end result they persuasively argue will benefit both sexes. This is not the solution to the problem, but it is most definitely a gateway and enabler. Four out of four stars.
Solution #3 – Use A Prostitute
Continued in the next post…